


Healing Kisses

by VenezuelanWriter



Series: Intoxicating Kisses [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Emotional Intimacy, Friendship, Happy Ending, M/M, PDA, Quitting Smoking, Romance, Romantic Friendship, Smoking, Unresolved Romantic Tension, emotional tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 20:22:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4801007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VenezuelanWriter/pseuds/VenezuelanWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of how two guys’ friendship grew into something more and how it helped one of them to quit smoking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Healing Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! There aren't enough Barry/Cisco fics and that's something that must be fixed. Hope you enjoy my little contribution in favor of the cause! 
> 
> By the way, I SO have a thing with kisses. I adore kisses. You can expect a lot of kissing here.

The term ‘romantic friendship’ had been in Cisco’s head lately. He hadn’t known that denomination until he tried to find a name for this. He would have never imagined that having one of those was so… awkward? And neither had he thought that was the simplistic name something so complex owned.

How had he ended up cuddling with Barry?  _And on Barry’s bed?!_  When had everything begun?

Cisco doesn’t apparently have an answer to that because everything was so slow it’d be hard for anyone to select an exact moment when things started to happen. Anyway, a little birdie of mine was around all the time and he told me everything he saw.

Once upon a time, an ordinary day like any other one, Caitlin Snow, Dr. Harrison Wells, Cisco Ramon and of course the one and only Barry Allen as well known for his friends as The Flash, were at S.T.A.R. Labs doing routine work: Dr. Wells somewhere else but the cortex, in a place the youths didn’t exactly know, Caitlin doing Barry some tests she used to do him weekly, and Cisco working on whatever nerd stuff only he could understand the purpose it had until it was completely done.

After Barry’s tests were done, Caitlin told him he was free for today, unless Flash was needed, which was likely. 

“Oh, ok. Thanks,” Barry answered her and went to the main cortex. “I guess I’ll go to the police station. Just call me if anything happens and I’ll be there in a sec,” he said.

“Sure,” Caitlin told him.

Cisco must have been focused on what he was doing because he didn’t answer Barry, who was already on his way out when he noticed such thing and approached Cisco’s desk.

“Hey, what are you working on?” He asked him, standing behind him and bending over to check his computer screen.

“It’s just…” He started saying, then changed his sentence. “Remember when last week you had that issue with your suit?” It was an obvious question, but Barry nodded anyway. “Well, I’ve been trying to develop a particle to prevent that to ever happen again,” he explained.

What happened was that Barry had been trying to fight a pyromaniac in a burning room and his suit  _almost_  lit up. It didn’t because he was able to extinguish the fire because that happened, but the consequences could have been unimaginable.

“Oh,” Barry answered, and placed his right hand on Cisco’s right shoulder “I see. Thanks for that, dude. I’ll go to work now,” he waved again his goodbye and didn’t wait for a reply to vanish from space in less than a second.

That’s when my little bird thought everything began, but it was far before when the two guys met. However, that single touch and how comfortable both of them felt about it was a good point to start.

* * *

Cisco was always around. Or maybe it was Barry. They weren’t sure, but the fact is that they always found a way to be in the other’s personal space. It felt just so right they couldn’t help it. Sometimes it was a touch, sometimes a greeting short hug, sometimes it was the mild trust they’d developed that allowed Barry to steal some of Cisco’s drinks or snacks and Cisco didn’t mind  _at all_. He was happy to know he shared something with someone. In a long time, he hadn’t had a friend to hang out or to have ‘boy’s nights’ with watching nerd movies they both enjoyed. Caitlin was his friend, of course, and he loved her, but if wasn’t the same.

Barry’s point of view was slightly different. In college, he wasn’t as lonely as Cisco, but after graduating and trying to find a good purpose in life, it was hard to find someone in his surroundings as mature as him, until he met Cisco. He was just so smart, centered on his goals and his work, reliable and trustable… The moment Barry met him he felt something good about him; like that he was a good boy, one with good intentions.

Then, they became a team. Even when Caitlin and Dr. Wells were an essential part of it too, Barry couldn’t help but feel that just him, with his powers, and Cisco with his knowledge in advanced technology sometimes were enough.

                                                          

“Constantly being in the other’s personal space was an indication of familiarity and intimacy,” Google reads.

 _Mm, ‘intimacy’ is kind of a strong word_ , my birdie assures according to what he’d seen. Familiarity was just fine. Yeah, let’s say they felt  _familiar_  with each other. A good familiarity feeling everybody needs a little of in their lives. Like a familiarity you can feel with a friend, like this case, or even with a pet or a family member.

* * *

Weeks and months went by, and familiarity began to turn into intimacy. Don’t get me wrong, the intimacy I’m talking about it’s beyond physical, it’s even bigger and better than that. Let me tell you about this one time, for example, at Barry’s place.

Joe was on a weekend trip and Barry had the house for himself. Joe gave him the permission of bringing someone home as long as he was responsible for it (Barry knew every possible interpretation for that sentence), but he was single and he wasn’t the kind of guy who picked up girls at a bar to take them home just for a night. He was a man  _way_  better than that.

But he didn’t want to spend the weekend by himself, and he thought,  _why not inviting Cisco over?_  They never met there, but always at Cisco’s apartment. It would be nice to switch things for once and having a guest that usually was his host.

That night, they watched a marathon of Doctor Who’s season one, and at three am they both were tired they decided it was time to go to bed.

“Hey, uhmm,” Cisco said hesitating “I guess I’ll need a pillow to crash here, right?” He asked, referring to the couch.

“What? No, Joe told me you could take his room when I told him I’d invite you,” Barry said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. And actually, it was for him: An empty room in the house meant that his lovely and close-friend-of-his guest wouldn’t have to sleep on the couch.

“But dude, my ankle’s sprained, remember?” Cisco said, pointing to his right ankle and grabbed the boot of his pants to show Barry the ankle brace he was wearing.

“Oh, man, I totally forgot. Have you been feeling good about that? Do you need something specific? It’s just that you’re walking perfectly and I… just forgot,” Barry rambled, worried and feeling a little guilty because he’d forgotten.

Cisco giggled at his friend’s reaction, it was so predictable for a natural-born hero.

“No, don’t worry; I’m perfect considering that my fall was just a week and a half ago. Anyway, I have to avoid stairs for at least another week and a half,” he said, referring to the original matter that brought the subject up.

Barry for a moment remembered how Cisco had told him he’d fallen. It had been somewhat funny: he was trying to prove one his witty inventions when he fell over it. What a shame Barry hadn’t been at the Labs in the midst of the event.

“In that case, I could carry you and take you to his room. I don’t mind at all,” Barry said. Oh, he was such a good friend.

But Cisco didn’t want to bother him just for sleeping in Joe’s room after all, so he tried to decline politely.

“Seriously, don’t worry. I don’t want to invade Joe’s privacy. The couch will be just fine,” he smiled at his own words as he leaned back on the couch.

“That’s the deal, eh? So, you’ll be sleeping with me. Unless you don’t want to, but my bed is big enough for us. And I’m fine with it if you are,” Barry said with serene and comforting eyes.

He wasn't taking a no for an answer, was he? And he was being just  _so_  nice to Cisco, even offering him his own bed. It was the sweetest thing ever.

“Fine, sure. Whatever, man,” Cisco said trying not to look embarrassed. He liked the idea of sleeping next to Barry, I mean, doing everything around him felt nice, what would to sleep be like? He bet magical. But he couldn’t help feeling like an obstacle knowing he’d sleep on his host’s bed.

Barry got up and looked down at Cisco.

“You want it the normal-speed way or the super-speed way?” He asked him. It always was of his delight to give someone a ride.

“Considering I don’t want any of our clothes to accidentally light on fire, I think the slow way would work for me,” Cisco said.

It wasn’t  _that_  funny for Barry, but he would totally consider Cisco’s opinion.

Being honest with himself, he would have liked it more to be in a super-speed way because the less time he carried his friend the less awkward it could be the situation.

 _Let’s get over this_ , he thought. He motioned Cisco to get up, which he could do with no problem, and Cisco did so. When he was up, they walked to the beginning of the stairs and Cisco then turned to Barry.

“Please, do it in the most masculine way you can,” He requested, seriously.

It was how serious he sounded what made Barry laugh. He always made him laugh, anyway.

“Sure man. I’ll try not to hurt your manhood,” he said smiling wide. And what a beautiful smile he had.

He quickly decided that the worst way of carrying another guy was bridal style, so he just took Cisco under his thighs with his right hand and lifted him until Cisco’s left leg was around his hips, what he did instinctively, and he placed his arm around Barry’s neck as well, resulting in a… koala carrying? Maybe.

Barry started going up the stairs as fast as he could at normal speed while carrying someone who was heavier than he seemed to be and when they were halfway there, Cisco talked.

“Seriously, though? You’re sure you’re trying not to hurt my manhood?” Cisco asked him with his eyes focused on the ground behind Barry’s back.

Barry was distracted by a smell he perceived in Cisco’s clothes, which he thought it was similar to cigarettes’ smoke, but Cisco’s words interrupted his thoughts and he just brushed it off assuming someone in the street must have been smoking near him.

“You know, I should have let you take the couch in the first place,” Barry said, joking about the regret of his choice of taking him upstairs.

It was easy, anyway. The carrying was supposed to be a lot more awkward than it actually was. They both guessed it was related to their trust and friendship. Even when it was a little uncomfortable Cisco was just kidding when he told Barry that he’d hurt his manhood, he hadn’t actually done it for the smallest second, and that was also part of what made everything easy and right.

When they arrived upstairs, Barry carefully placed Cisco on his feet and they went to Barry’s bedroom, the owner of this one coming in first, followed closely by his friend.

“So, this is my room,” Barry said with his arms opened turning around to all directions of the room. “And that, mon amie,” he said pointing to his double-sized mattress “is where we’re sleeping tonight. Now,” he said going to the bedroom’s door “I’ll go downstairs to do some cleaning real quick while you change and I’ll be back so we can get some sleep”, Cisco nodded at his words “Please feel at home,” Barry said and left in a second.

Less than ten minutes later, everything downstairs was clean, the dishes were washed and dried, everything was in its place and Barry was changed into his pajamas going to his room. He found Cisco lying on his bed, under the covers, changed as well into the clothes he’d taken with him, his back turned to the room’s door.

The most quietly he could (since he’d assumed Cisco was already asleep), Barry got under the covers as well just to find out that Cisco was still awake.

“Man, can I ask you a favor?” He asked Barry, turning on his side to face him.

“Sure, my specialty is to do favors at 3 in the morning,” He replied, smirking.

“No,” Cisco chuckled, “is not like that. Is actually more like… keeping a secret?” He said hesitantly, his face frowned.

Barry got serious and rested his head on his hand.

“Oh. Of course, what secret do you want me to keep?” He asked, trying to remember if Cisco had told him anything he would want to hide from their other friends.

“I hope you don’t think it’s stupid, but I’d prefer if we don’t tell anybody that we slept together,” He finally said and sighed.

“Dude, it’s not like we  _slept_  together,” Barry said, relieved for what was everything about, and emphasizing his words suggestively.

Cisco didn’t think it was funny, something Barry was expecting.

“No, but still. If someone asks, I slept in Joe’s room, ok?” he said.

 _He sounds pleading_ , Barry thought and took it earnestly.

“Sure. Don’t worry about it,” He said as he tried to read his friend’s face, failing.

“Thanks,” Cisco whispered and closed his eyes. He seemed peaceful to know Barry wouldn’t say anything, like if it was keeping him awake and now he finally could sleep.

 _Anytime_ , Barry kept to himself.

 

Oh, that’s one of my favorite moments of theirs. It was the first time they shared a bed, and it was the best sleep they could have had. Next morning, everything was normal; Barry took Cisco downstairs the same way he’d taken him up, and they had a delicious breakfast Barry bought and took home in less than 5 minutes.

* * *

More days went by, and that peculiar, but loosening feeling they had when they were around each other did anything but increase. Barry always found a way of initiating contact between his friend and him, and Cisco gladly accepted it. Whether it was cupping his face softly to tell him something calming when he was stressed (definitely Barry’s choice of words was always accurate), or whether it was some sort of massage he insisted Cisco needed until he gave up and recognized Barry might have been right; then Barry’s hands would be on Cisco’s shoulders and neck (sometimes even on his back) giving him a super speed massage that made him relax in a matter of a few minutes.

Those were the best massages someone could receive in their entire lifetime, and all Cisco could do was being thankful about it showing his friend his unconditional support on the field as well as on his personal –sometimes boring but he still paid attention to Barry’s concerns- life.

During the following weeks after the first time Cisco stayed at Barry’s, he visited him a total of three times, each one of them was even better than the previous one. They may be in the other’s surroundings often but never alone. That’s why whenever they were alone it was  _damn_  special. They got to talk about ‘guy’s stuff’ and they vented their secrets and nightmares and fears and experiences and subjects of worrying and God it felt so good to have a friend.

It was priceless to feel so much comfort and luckily understanding coming from someone that wasn’t a relative. They would hug if they needed it, they would cry, they would let the other use his shoulder as a pillow if the emotions were too drastic to handle, they would accept their realities and never judge.

‘Emotional closeness’, people call it.

And it’s everything about the trust they have each other what makes it easy, comforting and relaxing. Normally, they would (just as any other normal person) feel anxious and exposed sharing their deepest and darkest selves and thoughts to someone, but it was different between them. Unfortunately, my little birdie knows how to keep a secret and never revealed the motives of all the crying he heard and words of support he barely did because they were whispered so quiet that even for them it must have been hard to listen.

The fourth time Cisco visited Barry (not that he was counting) he did stay. It was two months after the first time he had and they were alone for a weekend again. Well, actually Joe would be out four days but Cisco would stay just one night.

They planned to watch all of Spiderman movies for the zillionth time individually, though for the first time together. It was 2 am and they were ‘watching’ The Amazing Spiderman (they actually were on the couch in front of a turned on TV that played The Amazing Spiderman), when Barry opened his eyes and realized he’d fallen asleep. Cisco was resting his head on his lap, asleep as well.

There was something so, but  _so_  right about all of that; the movie, their positions, and the fact that he had no idea when they’d fallen asleep, so familiar and so… intimate. This time, intimate fitted better than familiar, it was how he would’ve described it:  _intimate_.

Barry got his phone out of his pocket to check the time. 2:09 am. He thought that they were getting older, every time falling asleep earlier than the one before. He had tried not to wake Cisco and even when he managed to do it, he decided it’d be better if they made it to his bed so they’d be more comfortable.

He slowly stroke Cisco’s arm (so he wouldn’t panic out of his peaceful sleep) and Cisco soon opened his eyes. He felt aware of his actions and quickly sat up on his own.

“Oh, sorry, I had no idea I’d fallen asleep on you,” He said, rubbing his eyes and getting as far as he could without looking like Barry had a radioactive aura.

“It’s fine, I hadn’t noticed either. What if we go upstairs? I mean, I think we’ve had enough of Spidey for tonight,” Barry said as he grinned for the diminutive, pointing to the TV.

“Yeah, I think the same. I’m tired,” Cisco replied and yawned, covering his mouth.

This time, there was no carrying needed, and Barry didn’t go back downstairs to get everything in order. That could wait until tomorrow; right now all he wanted was to sleep.

In a matter of a couple of minutes, they were both under Barry’s covers, changed into their respective pajamas, a little too far away for their liking. Barry got closer to Cisco, who didn’t complain at this motion, and they soon were cuddled around each other like their life depended on it.

_Oh, so that’s why they were cuddling. Interesting._

Whatever, now that you know how they got to this point, I’ll give you the permission to know what happens from now on.

Cisco hugged Barry tight by his waist, and Barry did the same over Cisco’s shoulder. They caressed their bodies slowly and they fell asleep in each other’s arms. They felt so relaxed with each other’s closeness that they didn’t care if it was ‘odd’, or ‘unusual’, or ‘queer’ (it wasn’t like if someone acknowledged that occurrences, anyway). Actually, it was scientifically proven that those touches often resulted in the release of oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin as well as in a reduction in stress hormones.

* * *

 

Next morning, Barry was the first who opened his eyes. He checked the time on his alarm clock beside his bed. It was just 8:40 am, early enough for a Sunday. He kissed Cisco’s scalp that rested under his chin since the night before and caressed his waist slowly to wake him up.

He never knew why Cisco was so easy to wake up, but the important fact here it’s that he was. Cisco looked up at his friend.

“Hey,” he said, doing patterns with his thumb over Barry’s stomach.

“Hey,” Barry replied imitating his friend’s action on his back. He kissed again his scalp and inhaled a weird smell again. “Your hair smells like… smoke,” he said, putting his nose against the boy’s hair.

“Dude, thanks for being so smooth,” Cisco replied, sitting up and getting out of his friend’s embrace “I haven’t washed it in two days and that’s the result,” he said, pretending to be ashamed. He pretended really well because Barry didn’t doubt it was authentic.

Barry laughed. “Sorry, man, I didn’t intend to be so rude. It’s just…” He trailed off, shutting himself up, because his argument was illogical, “Nothing”

And Cisco knew what Barry had been about to say, so he didn’t ask what was it. He changed the subject, instead.

“I’m hungry, and I guess you are as well. I’m going to do some good stuff for breakfast,” He offered (or declared, because it wasn’t a question) and started to get out of bed.

“Oh, so now you can cook?” Barry asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t know why you’re surprised. You want an American breakfast or a Latin one?”

Barry took his time to think for an answer.

“Whatever you do better,” he finally said. And it was the best answer he could have given him as it meant that he didn’t care what it was as long as it was appetizing.

Thirty minutes later they were having pancakes (three for Cisco and fifteen for Barry, just to be sure he wouldn’t be hungry too soon) and having as well some good talk during their meal.

Cisco told Barry about his election when he went to prepare the breakfast, which was based only on Barry’s preferences and in how early food was going to be ready:

“Yeah, it would have taken me another twenty minutes to do my specialty, and you must have been starving, so… pancakes it is”

And between some words and others, they kept eye contact and the pure chemistry there was between both of them, was perceptible in the air as easy as breathing. At one moment, Barry brushed Cisco’s fingers, and that little electric shock Barry had only experienced before with Iris, he did with Cisco. They both pretended it hadn’t happened.

Barry finished his meal and told Cisco he’d shower to get ready for the day. He went upstairs to do so (which he continued to do at normal speed to feel like he’d actually showered) and when he was already putting his clothes on, Cisco broke in the bathroom accidentally.

Barry was wearing just his underwear, but he quickly (and I mean, at super speed) put his pants on when the door was opened.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry! I thought you were already done,” Cisco said closing the door again. Barry stopped him on his way out and opened the door once more.

“It’s cool, the bathroom is all yours,” He said and started leaving, going back at super speed before Cisco closed the door completely because he’d forgotten his shirt inside.

Cisco giggled to himself, thinking what kind of a man his friend was.

In the meanwhile –when Cisco was showering, Barry supposed- he looked for a phone case in his room he had been trying to find for a week now. Unwittingly, he bumped into Cisco’s backpack and something he wasn’t able to see clearly fell to the ground. He kneeled down to pick it up and put it back to where it belonged when he noticed it was a cigarettes’ box. He quickly thought about the possibilities of that belonging to Cisco.

He would have thought there weren’t any when he remembered the time he smelled Cisco’s shirt and it smelled like smoke, the same as last night with his hair. He wasn’t a curious or nosy person when it came to his friend’s personal lives, but this was Cisco’s health and well-being. And God knew how much he cared about Cisco. He carefully registered Cisco’s back, and he found at least in that pocket three boxes more. The one that had fallen to the floor was half empty, but those ones were full.

He thought it would be terrible if Cisco got out of the shower and found him looking into his stuff, so he placed everything like he’d found it and decided he’d think what to do before acting.

Cisco not much after that got out of the shower and it was so hard for Barry to think that Cisco, like ‘healthy-Cisco’, smoked… He was so… disappointed. He didn’t want to believe it was true. Maybe those cigars weren’t his. Maybe they belonged to someone who asked him to buy them in their place or to keep them there for some reason. And maybe that person smoked near Cisco and that explained the smell.

Barry googled ‘how to know if someone is smoking’ to maybe find signs different than the obvious ones so he could know how likely it was that Cisco actually smoked. After he read a couple of Yahoo answers to his question, he started thinking: if Cisco smoked, how he managed to spend the day without smoking? And not getting grumpy or anything. And how was it that his teeth were still white satin? As well as his fingers, which were free of any nicotine stain. He didn’t get out alone suspiciously before or after meals, and he didn’t wear cologne to try to cover up the smell.

Barry evidently tried to justify all of the reasons why Cisco probably wasn’t smoking because…thinking  _that_  … it made Barry sad. And a lot. He couldn’t bring himself to consider it in real life. He read that the best way of knowing if someone smoked was ‘catching them in the act’ but if Cisco did was a smoker it would be impossible to catch him because he’s so clever he’d have thought a way to keep it unknown.

The plans for today were going to the new planetarium at Central City Park; an ‘outing’ they would do alone because it was too ‘nerdy’ for both Iris and Caitlin to desire to join them.

After they went to the planetarium, they’d be alone and it would be a perfect timing to confront Cisco, just in case they had a ‘fight’ or some altercate so it wouldn’t ruin the visit to the planetarium.

* * *

They went out, got to the park, visited the planetarium, had a blast there, and then they were finally done with their amazing ‘outing’.

They were sitting on a bench at the park, in a comfortable silence, when Barry decided it was the moment to do it.

“Cisco, I… need to ask you something,” Barry said, with the serious voice he always saved for really important matters.

“Sure, go ahead,” Cisco said, starting to get worried for his friend’s speech.

“I think I’ll just say it straight,” he said, trying to calm himself down “Do… do you smoke?” He asked, looking Cisco directly in his eyes.

“Why would you think that?” Cisco inquired, a little nervous but trying to keep calm.

“C’mon, just tell me. Do you smoke?” He asked again, and Cisco started to look away and sighed. “Don’t lie to me, please,” He told him when he knew that Cisco was probably going to do that.

“Yes, Barry, I smoke,” Cisco answered, annoyed. “How did you know?” he asked, again looking his friend in the eye.

“Today while you were showering, I accidentally stumbled into you backpack and a box of cigarettes fell out,” he said. “And don’t get mad at me for what I’m saying next because you would have done the exact same thing, but I worried about you and looked into your back,” Cisco was about to protest but Barry cut him off “THREE boxes, Cisco. You had in that single pocket three more boxes,” he sighed, frustrated.

Cisco sighed as well. He didn’t know what to say.

“Why hadn’t you told us? Told  _me_ , at least. Don’t you trust me? You know you can tell me anything. I mean, we’re supposed to be best friends. I thought we were,” Barry told him. Right now it was Cisco not being completely transparent and open with him what made him mad.

“Because I knew you’d be disappointed! All of you, guys, but especially you. I don’t want you to think I’m one of those stupid kids who smoke because they’re bored! And PS I do trust you. It’s just… complicated,” Cisco kept looking away constantly; maybe there was a hint of shame on that gesture.

“Fuck, Cisco, I’d never think you’re stupid. You know that,” he said, and there was no answer. “All those boxes are yours? Were you going to smoke all of that?” Barry asked, impressed.

“I  _am_  going to do it, Barry. Listen, don’t try to convince not to smoke, ok? I just… need it,” he said with his hands in his jacket pockets bumping his feet nervously.

“ _No_ , you  _don’t_. You know it Cisco,” Barry told him firmly. “Would you tell me why you started smoking?  _Please_? I want to understand-” He was abruptly interrupted.

“You wouldn’t. I’m not planning on tell you my reasons so please don’t insist,” Cisco dryly answered.

“Ok, fine. Don’t tell me your reasons but…  _When_  did you start smoking?” He asked, fearful for the possible answers. He really didn’t want to get even  _more_  disappointed.

“A few months ago,” Cisco told him, looking away, sighing. What harm was on telling him, right? He’d already found out about the most ghastly part.

Barry didn’t know what to say. The answer could have been worse, and even when he  _was_  disappointed, he wasn’t up for giving his friend a talk about ‘why the drugs are bad’ because he knew Cisco didn’t need that.

“I would have never guessed you smoke,” he said as he externalized exactly what was crossing his mind, looking away too because it was pointless to keep trying to make eye contact with Cisco.

“Stupid stereotypes…. I knew you’d judge me. That’s why I hadn’t told you,” Cisco said, wanting with his entire will to get up and leave, upset.

“Man, Cisco, c’mon, I’m sorry, ok?” Barry exclaimed and went back to try to look his friend in the eye “It’s just hard to understand without the reasons. Would you please tell me why? I would do anything I can to help,” he insisted, pleading.

Cisco turned around and looked him in the eyes to answer “Sorry, Barry. But I can’t”.

Barry sighed. He gave up for today on that, he guessed. He changed the focus of his eyes again to look at the trees around them, as well as the few people that were visiting the park too and tried to ‘humor’ things a little.

“I bet your lungs are so nice to damage them like this,” he said, still sad.

“I’m not going to quit smoking. I’ve already tried,” Cisco replied, finally appreciating the nice part of everything: how worried Barry was about him and his sanity.

“I want you to be healthy so you can be my friend for ages!” Barry said, like if he was about to cry for imagining sad endings for his friend “I really want you to at least  _try_  to quit smoking,” he said, puppy eyes looking for and finding Cisco’s. “Please, Cisco,” he repeated, with a begging tone he hoped it worked.

Barry cupped his face and caressed his cheek with his thumb, trying to persuade him. He was imploring him  _so hard_ , and those words… so accurate, as usual.

“I’ll try to quit smoking,” Cisco said, being unable to resist his friend’s influencing words.

“Promise me you’ll try,” Barry said, knowing that if he promised it his friend would do his best to keep his word.

Cisco sighed, looked away, and looked him in the eye again.

“I promise I will  _try_ ,” He said, making clear that he didn’t promise he’d  _quit_  it.

“Wouldn’t it be a good start to throw those boxes you got there?” Barry asked, knowing it wasn’t good that he kept having them, placing his hand on his friend’s thigh, but being cautious so he wouldn’t feel manipulated either.

“I’m not throwing them. Maybe I can give them back or something,” he replied, trying to excuse on the money he spent to keep them. But of course, it was a pointless effort.

“I can take care of that. Give ‘em to me. It’s not like you’re going to need them,” Barry said and opened his hand to let him know he was serious and that he wouldn’t give up until he got them.

“Fine. Take them,” Cisco replied irritated and looked for the boxes on his back to then place them in Barry’s hands.

What Barry didn’t know was how many more of those Cisco had at home…

* * *

Three days later, they were at STAR and while Dr. Wells was in the bunker, Caitlin was in the bathroom and that meant that Cisco was alone. Not too soon after Caitlin’s leaving, he felt a wave of wind and he knew Barry had arrived. The speedster looked around and noticed they were alone.

“Hey,” he patted Cisco’s shoulder “Where’s Caitlin?”

“Bathroom,” Cisco simply said without moving his eyes apart from the computer screen.

“How’s everything going with… you know?” Barry tried to ask casually, not being ‘too hard’ on his friend about the issue.

“Fine,” He replied annoyed, wishing Barry just shut up.

“Hey, don’t worry, I haven’t told anybody. I won’t do it either. So can you please stop acting like if we weren’t alone and tell me, how have you actually been doing about that?” He exclaimed offended, wanting a better and more complete answer. He  _indeed_  wanted to know how Cisco was handling his… ‘Problem’, or whatever he called it.

“I already told you, I’m fine!” He claimed, even more annoyed than before.

At that moment Caitlin arrived and they both shut their mouths about the subject.

It was interesting how, as long as they didn’t talk about it, nothing changed between them. Not even a sparkle of tension or annoyance.

And for the ones that want to know: Cisco  _was_  actually fine, but it was really hard to resist those boxes he had at his place. Maybe too difficult to resist the temptation entirely on some days…

* * *

Later that day, Barry had invited Cisco over to dinner because Joe was going to be late at night. Cisco had accepted, and there they were at Barry’s kitchen’s counter, talking, when suddenly they were silent and yet it was comfortable. Barry approached Cisco pretty closely and put his hand behind Cisco’s neck.

He’d noticed that whenever he was physical Cisco became more… susceptible, easy to confront, like if it was a weakness of him to have people touching him intimately.

“Cisco… have you smoked today?” Barry asked, stepping closer to Cisco’s body, making him apparently nervous.

“…No,” he replied after a little of hesitation, looking away and trying not to take deep breaths.

“Are you sure?” Barry asked, noticing that his friend was probably lying, using his hand to make him look him directly in the eye.

“Yes, I am,” Cisco answered confidently, without giving any second thoughts before saying it.

Barry started to slowly close the distance between them, thinking it’d be good since Cisco didn’t pull away or pushed him the moment he placed his hand on his neck. He took in the preciousness of the moment and kissed Cisco on the lips. It was a short kiss, patient and almost immobile.

Cisco slightly pulled apart, definitely not a sign of disgust, but one of being taken a little off guard. Barry kissed him again anyway, his lips a little more opened and determinate, the kiss lasting less than four seconds.

“But… you taste like nicotine, Cisco” he breathed against his mouth, so close Cisco could feel his lips moving against his own. It hadn’t been much of a taste, but more of a smell in the back of his breath he perceived; yet he used the word ‘taste’ because it was… pertinent. Suitable, even.

Cisco sighed with his eyes closed.

“It was just one, Barry. I swear it was just one,” he said, feeling emotionally exposed and ashamed at the same time, because first, he  _had_  smoked, and second, he’d said he hadn’t.

“You already lied,” Barry said, implicitly saying ‘How hard it’d be for you to lie about how many cigarettes you smoked as well’.

“I swear. It was one,” Cisco repeated, a weird desperation in his voice that reflexed how much he wanted Barry to trust his word.

“I believe you,” Barry answered, being incapable of not believing his friend when he sounded so hopeless and vehement. “But next time I kiss you I don’t want you to taste like this,” he continued as he moved his thumb softly over Cisco’s nape.

“Fine,” was what Cisco’s brain managed to say out loud while his head was about to explode with so much information to process.

_He kissed me. He fucking just kissed me. And he said ‘next time I kiss you’. Is there really going to be a next time or… no, he wouldn’t do all this just to help me quit smoking. Right?_

And that’s how they developed a new level of closeness in which it seemed to be normal to kiss each other without things getting heated or passionate… it felt like they were in a parallel universe where one was supposed to kiss your friends on the lips. It was just freaking right. They didn’t feel anything that they hadn’t been feeling already. It was just… a kiss like one they’d already emotionally had.

But who did they want to fool; it had been so nice to finally physically experience it.

Cisco left that night before Joe arrived, and they hugged their goodbyes including even a kiss on the cheek for each part. They couldn’t have asked for more.

* * *

 

The following days not much changed between them. Their public displays of affection were still the same, like those socially accepted for same-sex persons, unfortunately meaning just friendly greetings and one or two casual touches during the day. They didn’t talk about Cisco’s addiction when they were alone but instead they talked about the things they used to talk before that happened, or even about what they talked about when more people were around, and that was  _fine_.

Barry decided that he wouldn’t ask Cisco about it again until he thought the answer he would get was the one he wanted. For that, he guessed, he’d have to wait for maybe one week more or two.

And on the other hand, Cisco was grateful he hadn’t been interrogated about it a second time because he had no idea how he’d react.

After a long day at STAR Labs, in which Barry thank God was able to save everybody but almost didn’t, he just felt in the mood for having some good time and forgetting about work for a while. And what better person to have a good time with than his friend Cisco?

They decided they would go out and that they’d pay the bill together, the old-fashioned ‘50% 50%’ way.

At the little restaurant they decided to go, the conversation went fluently until the food they’d ordered arrived.

After they both ate, Barry brought a subject up that he had wanted mention Cisco since their odd kiss.

“Listen, ehm…” He started “I wanted to talk to you about what happened the other night,” he said knowing it wouldn’t be necessary to be more specific than that.

“You regret, don’t you?” Cisco asked, thinking he already knew the answer that was coming next.

“No! Not at all,” Barry quickly answered and Cisco felt a jolt of surprise inside of him “It’s just… I want to make sure that we’re both on the same stage, for putting it some way?” he said, but  _that_  he knew it wasn’t going to be specific enough.

“What do you exactly mean?” Cisco asked him, a little confused (which was perfectly comprehensible due to Barry’s weird ‘explanation’).

“What I mean is… what kind of relationship is this? Because personally, I don’t feel it like a courtship or boyfriend kind-of-thing. Actually, I think we’re still behaving like friends,” he said, being the most honest he could be.

“You’re trying to tell me that you want us to be friends?” Cisco asked him, based on his attempt to interpret his friend’s statement.

“No. Just… What do  _you_  want?” Barry asked him, thinking the best thing he could do to keep with that conversation was to know what Cisco wanted before he said something too compromising.

“I’d like to do it again, Barry, if that’s what you’re asking,” Cisco said, afraid of the price of being sincere about it without knowing what was what Barry wanted.

“Me too, but…” Barry started and that was enough for Cisco to let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding “after that are we going to keep being just friends? Is it okay if right now I invite a girl out? Is it ok if you do it? Or if we do it after a next time? That’s what I think I really want to say,” he said, hoping that saying the questions inside his head made Cisco understand what was worrying him.

“Oh, well. In that case… I really wouldn’t like it if you invited someone out during this. I wouldn’t do it, either,” Cisco answered. It was true; the last thing he wanted was to be some weird kind of friend with benefits for Barry. Nope, he definitely wanted something  _exclusive_  and with  _commitment_  involved, if there was going to be something at all.

Barry placed his right hand on Cisco’s chin, trying not to look  _too friendly_  in public.

“I’m  _so_  fine with that. I was scared you told me we’d be just… I don’t know, friends that kiss each other,” Barry replied, as relieved as Cisco.

Cisco laughed, because come on, ‘friends that kiss each other’? Really, Allen?

“No, we’re not just that anymore,” Cisco gladly replied smiling, now knowing he wasn’t the only one who was up for having something more important than just a few kisses occasion.

* * *

 

That night, Barry invited Cisco to his place, and even when Cisco had tried to protest since Joe wasn’t going to be out and he claimed he ‘didn’t have something to wear the next day’, he gave in because he realized he really didn’t care if Joe knew that they slept on the same bed or not and Barry told him he could go to his place all the times he needed it to find him something to wear.

They were ready to sleep already, cuddled as –now- usual, and with Barry’s room’s door closed, of course. The speedster was spooning his friend, caressing his arm tenderly, when the latter turned around and looked him in the eyes.

“What?” Barry asked, confused.

Cisco didn’t give him an answer and kissed him, instead. It was a short kiss, but long enough for Barry to detect any weird smells or tastes in case there was any.

“I like it this way. No nicotine,” he said smiling against Cisco’s mouth.

They kissed again and they both deepened the kiss more than any other time. Still, it wasn’t like a wet-hot-and-messy kind of kiss. They moved their lips in sync, enjoying the feeling of the other’s lips on theirs.

“Bar,” Cisco whispered barely pulling apart.

“Mmh?”

“I’m afraid Joe interrupts,” he said in a low voice

“He won’t. He always knocks,” Barry replied already prepared for kissing Cisco again, who stopped him before he did.

“But what if… what would happen if he saw us? Like this,” He asked, motioning toward their close positions and also referring to the fact that they were kissing.

 “He’d tell me is ok. Anyway,” Barry placed his hand on Cisco’s cheek, touching it softly with endearment “he’s not going to see anything, Cisco,” he said hopefully calming him down.

“Fine,” Cisco replied, knowing Barry must have known better his foster-father than him. If he said he always knocked, he always did. Besides, in an extreme emergency case, before Joe opened the door completely Barry would pull apart and place them both in ‘appropriate’ positions.

That fact was definitely going to be counted on the ‘Advantages of dating Barry Allen” list.

They kept kissing each other like that until they fell asleep, slow but a little playfully and a little hot but still more innocence than arouse was present in the kiss (in the whole frame, actually). And that was so correct and right and ok for both of them; it was exactly what they wanted at the moment.

* * *

 

Next day, Barry went to Cisco’s place in less than ten second and brought him clean clothes to wear, as he’d told him he’d do, and they went to their respective jobs as they knew they had to, lamentably.

At 2 pm, approximately, Barry passed by STAR Labs for the first time in the day since he’d been busy at the police station. When he entered the cortex and said hi, he noticed someone missing.

“And where’s Cisco?” He asked Caitlin, curious.

“Oh, he went to the bathroom,” she said casually.

“I see,” he replied, trying not so sound as unconvinced as he was so Caitlin wouldn’t suspect anything.

He quickly checked the bathroom and just as he’d feared it, Cisco wasn’t there. He thought for a second where he could be, and told Caitlin he’d do something real quick.

He went to the flat roof of the building, and he found Cisco, as he’d suspected it, smoking.

“Cisco!” He screamed, running at super speed to grab Cisco’s hand that was holding the cigarette.

“Hey!” He protested back.

“Give it to me,” he demanded angrily, grabbing strongly Cisco’s wrist.

“No, it’s just-” Cisco tried to protest and Barry cut him off.

“‘Just one’?” He told him in a harsh tone, not caring about talking as loud as he wanted since they were alone, and quoting the last time Cisco had told him something like that. “Give it to me, Cisco, please,” He begged him now in a more caring but still angry voice, coming close to his face like he did the first time they kissed.

Cisco couldn’t complain and just gave Barry the cigarette. The speedster let go of his wrist and Cisco held it in his other hand.

“You hurt my wrist,” he said as he did so, moving it carefully.

“You know I’d never hurt you intentionally,” Barry said, still a little upset but making sure Cisco heard him and knew he was serious. “Do you have more?” he asked him, ready to tell him he’d have to give them to him as well.

“A box,” Cisco said looking away and Barry closed his eyes, disappointed. “But I’ll give it to you. I swear, Barry,” he said wanting to amend things, trying to let Barry know that he was trying to quit it. He tried to close the distance between their faces to kiss him.

“Don’t,” Barry said turning his face to his left “I don’t like to kiss you if you smoke. You already know that. And I’m sorry for your wrist” he said with a monotone tone of voice filled with anger, disappointment and a little of guilt (because the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt him), and disappeared in a flash.

* * *

 

Cisco kept his word, and when they were alone in the cortex, he gave Barry the box he had on his backpack. Barry hid it again in his stuff before anyone came in and saw any of them with the box in his hands. They also made sure Cisco’s wrist was fine and when Caitlin asked what had happened to him, they said it was private.

That night, Caitlin invited them to go for some drinks, and they both agreed because after all Caitlin wasn’t the kind of person that used to invite her friends out frequently. Barry asked them if they minded that he told Iris and none of them had any problems with it. ‘The more, the merrier’, anyway.

They were at some random local, sitting at the bar ordering drinks. Iris next to Barry, who was next to Cisco who was next to Caitlin.

They boys were ordering beers (even when Barry couldn’t even get tipsy) while Iris was drinking tequila and Caitlin rum.

At some point, after his 4th beer, Cisco got up acting a little odd –agitated, Barry would say- and told his friends he wanted some air and that he’d be back in a second. Barry had so many potentials explanations for that behavior, and he told the girls he’d check on him because he thought it would be the correct thing to do.

He went outside the local and found Cisco leaning back against the street’s brick wall, with his hands covering his face and taking deep breaths.

“Hey,” Barry said as he approached him jogging.

“Hey,” Cisco replied, almost breathless.

“Are you feeling well?” Barry asked with concern evident in his voice, trying to decipher Cisco’s features in the dim light of a couple of lampposts.

“It’s just… I used to smoke especially when I drank and I just feel a little… anxious, I guess,” Cisco replied, ashamed.

“Do you want to smoke?” Barry asked him, thinking about what would happen if he took away the guilt off Cisco and let him smoke.

“Yes,” he said as he looked down to the ground, not being able to look Barry in the eyes as he said that.

“If I gave you a cigarette, would you take it?” Barry asked, immediately realizing what he’d been thinking about. Of course he  _would not_  allow Cisco to smoke. He was supposed to help him through that, no matter how hard it could be.

“I… I don’t know. I guess I would,” Cisco replied, not knowing what to say. What kind of questions were those? It’s not like Barry would give him that single cigarette he was craving.

“Please, Cisco, be stronger than that. Would you let me see you smoke?” Barry asked, saying between lines of his last question ‘Would you let me see you and be disappointed about you,  _again_?’

“No,” He said with a voice that seemed to be  _so_  close to falling apart if it were physically possible.

“And why’s that?” Barry asked him, wanting to hear the answer since he already knew it. He rested his right palm on the wall, next to Cisco’s head, and gave one step more to ‘corner’ Cisco in a romantic instead of a possibly creepy way.

“Because I respect you enough for feeling bad if you saw me destructing myself,” Cisco said feeling frustrated about all of that: the questions, his habit, the closeness of Barry who probably wouldn’t kiss him because he was saying all that crap about wanting to smoke…

Barry placed his left hand behind Cisco’s head and closed the distance between their faces, being only an inch apart.

“I don’t want you to smoke, Cisco, I really don’t want you to do it,” he said, pleading him for the millionth time to be strong and to resist the temptation (just that in different words).

“I know,” Cisco said, suddenly feeling so warm inside, so lucky to have someone like Barry to care that much about him.

Barry gave him a quick kiss and turned to see if no one was looking. Not that he cared about the random people seeing them, but in case someone that might know any of them was around (He was well aware of the fact that it didn’t matter how big a city could be, at the most unfortunate moments you bumped into people you knew).

“When I kiss you, do you feel like you want to smoke?” He asked him after he checked that nobody they knew was there to look.

“No,” he simply replied shaking his head, and as cliché as it may sound, that was because Barry was a drug to him as well. His kisses kept him relaxed, easy, comforted, happy… being with him was like being high with no drugs. Not that the nicotine made him fly and see unicorns, but the feeling that that destructive  _thing_  produced him was nothing compared to how Barry made him feel. Besides, the source of the feeling was anything but destructive.

“Then I can kiss you all the times you want, Cisco,” he said, glad to be useful. He kissed him again a little more fiercely than before and both of them were seeing stars with that kiss.  _Fuck nicotine,_  Barry thought,  _I adore his kisses._

_-.-.-_

“Do you think they’re fine? They’ve been out there for like 10 minutes,” Caitlin asked worriedly.

“I guess they’re talking or something,” Iris calmly replied.

“I’ll go just to check they’re alright,” Caitlin said and got up.

She had just gone out the little local when she noticed her two friends  _kissing_  against a wall. She blushed and felt like a meddlesome in that scene. She quickly, before any of them noticed her as well, went back inside the local and decided she would act like she never saw that.

“They’re doing excellent, I guess they’ll come back soon,” she told Iris, still agitated.

“See? I told you,” Iris replied.

-.-.-.

Barry pulled apart and looked Cisco in the eyes.

“Look, we have to get back inside before they start worrying, but… I hope this have helped you,” he said, still romantically close to Cisco’s face.

“It has. I’m not going to drink more for tonight, anyway. Just in case,” Cisco decided.

“That’s fine,” Barry replied. Even when he wanted his friend (or whatever it was) to drink without experiencing the need of smoking if right now that’s what it took to help him, and it was his own conscience that had decided it, it worked for him. He gave him one last and shorter kiss.

“Yeah,” Cisco replied before the hand behind his head disappeared, and its owner started walking inside.

They entered the local again and sat down on their fore seats, acting too ‘cool and chill’ to Caitlin’s eyes who knew what had happened. She couldn’t help but wonder how long they might’ve been seeing each other, or dating, or whatever they could’ve been doing. Or maybe what she witnessed was the beginning of that thing. Was it related to the bruise something –but now a potential someone- had caused on Cisco’s wrist? She had no idea, and she didn’t think it was tactful to ask and to let them know she saw them  _kissing_. She still couldn’t believe it.

After a few more rounds of alcohol, that Cisco turned down because ‘he wasn’t feeling good’, they said they could call it a night.

They were all in Cate’s car (Barry in the copilot seat, and Cisco and Iris both in the back seat) since Caitlin had said she could take Cisco home because his apartment was on her way home, but that she would have to leave Iris and Barry at the bus stop so they could go home on their own because Eddie’s place and Barry’s house weren’t at all on her route.

“Hey man, would you mind if I stay at your place?” Barry asked Cisco after Caitlin’s words, trying to sound casual.

He thought his answer for a second.

“No, you can totally stay,” he answered.

Caitlin internally suffered a heart attack thinking about what that meant. Were his friends actually  _sleeping_  together?  _Oh my_ , she thought.

* * *

 

15 minutes after that and other real casual talk, Caitlin had left Iris at the bus stop and was leaving Barry and Cisco right in front of his apartment.

“Drive safe, Cate. Thanks for the ride,” Barry told her before starting to get out of the car.

“You too,” she said and realized they weren’t going to drive “I mean, be safe. Safe sex, take care, you know, the usual,” she stammered apprehensively to try to cover up her huge mistake.

“Suuuure,” Cisco replied, with a doubtful look in his eyes. He closed the door of the car and turned to Barry. “Ok  _that_  was awkward”

“Totally awkward,” the speedster agreed.

* * *

They got into the apartment, and as soon as they did, Cisco said: “You already know that mi casa es tu casa”.

“Thanks,” Barry replied taking his coat off and hanging it on the coat stand.

Cisco walked around the small living room to end up in front of his friend.

“So… what do you want to do? Watching TV, a movie, play videogames…” He trailed off.

Barry took a few steps and held Cisco by his waist.

“I want to kiss you until our lips are numb,” he said.

Cisco smiled and stood on his tiptoes to reach Barry’s face and kiss him. It was a short kiss, however, because Barry broke it.

“We should get more comfortable. And I have to text Joe so he doesn’t freak out,” He said as he went to Cisco’s room followed closely by Cisco himself.

Cisco lent him something to wear and went to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth, to then get out and find a changed-into-pajamas-and-clean-as-well, Barry.

They soon ended up under Cisco’s covers and sheets kissing softly on their lips as they caressed their bodies with a lot of appreciation and maybe even a little of worship.

The kiss became more heated since their tongues were involved and everything seemed more hungry and fast. Barry slid his hand tentatively under Cisco’s shirt and placed it on his back just on the same spot he had it when his hand was still over the clothing, on his friend’s lower back.

“I’m not a teenager, you know?” Cisco said while Barry kissed his jaw.

“What do you mean?” He replied confused.

“Well, for a speedster you go pretty damn slow,” Cisco said trying to  _subtly_  make his point.

“I love slow, Cisco. Do you prefer fast?” Barry said in his gentleman's voice, sounding courteous and respectful about his friend’s (is it right to call each other 'friend'?) body.

Cisco hesitated. If he said he did, maybe Barry would be too fast with him.

“Uhm, let’s say I like it a little faster than this, but not ‘fast’,” he replied.

“Point taken. ‘You’re not a teenager’,” Barry said and winked at him.

Then things turned a little hotter, but just enough to keep them totally ok about the fact that they were kissing each other passionately and nothing else. They didn't need more. They felt like that was  _damn_   _perfect_. Because it actually was. They weren't desperate yet. They embraced the moment. They lived it completely, and just by kissing their lips and necks they felt their chests burn.

“I like you so much, Cisco,” Barry whispered in Cisco’s ear after they’d got exhausted of making out.

“I like you too,” Cisco replied smiling wide.

Barry pulled apart and looked him in the eyes.

“Cisco Ramon, would you like to be my official couple?” He asked him, his eyes traveling from Cisco’s head to his jaw, detailing every inch of his face, his lovely _, lovely_  face.

“Yes, Barry Allen, I’d be joyful to be your official couple,” he answered, sounding a little too cheesy to his own ears. But when it was about Barry, it seemed like there was never enough ‘cheesiness’ involved.

The speedster smiled, he wasn’t expecting a different answer, but listening to it made him happy.

“Would you like calling ourselves boyfriends?” he inquired since he’d been doubtful about how he’d ask Cisco to be his ‘something’.

“Official couple works for me,” Cisco replied with a nod, knowing that probably Barry would prefer it like that too.

“Thank God,” Barry said relieved, making Cisco smile, what made _him_ smile too because his smile was simple but brilliant and sincere and at all once, _and who would resist that smile?_

They cuddled and fell asleep shortly after that, drowned in a drunkenness of love and kisses.

* * *

 

Next morning, it was Saturday, and finally, they could have a romantic awakening.

Cisco was the first who opened his eyes and for a moment, before Barry woke up as well, he just stared at the guy in front of him, so peacefully asleep. He kissed him and waited for Barry to open his eyes, which he did in a matter of seconds.

“What a nice alarm clock I got,” he said, smiling.

“Yeah,” Cisco replied and kissed him again. “Look, now that you’re my ‘official couple’ and everything… I’d like you to know my… reasons,” he said and straightened up a little, supporting his arm on his elbow.

“I’m listening,” he replied instinctively, because maybe if he’d thought more about his reply he would have said that it wasn’t really necessary that he told him his ‘reasons’. Anyway, this way was possibly better since it meant that he  _did_  want to know the reasons.

“Well, I know that if I don’t want I can’t just not telling you because I’m already quitting it” –for a split of second Barry considered interrupt him and to say ‘you already quit it’, but he knew it wasn’t fully true and shut his mouth up- “and because you wouldn’t care  _that_  much if you just didn’t know, but… I’d like to show you that I really trust you,” he said, waiting for an answer before he kept on talking.

“I never doubted that you did,” Barry replied tenderly and changed his position to match his friend’s.

“But I want to make sure. I really trust you and I care a lot about you and you deserve to know” Barry nodded and waited quietly for Cisco to continue. “Well, everything started because I… felt kinda frustrated about... Having that platonic thing with you. We were so close, but I didn’t get what I really would have liked, something… stable and…-not that we weren’t like ‘stable’ friends, but, I think you got me. And then my brother thing happened I realized I still have a lot of family issues I’ve never solved and… suddenly I was addicted to it and to constantly have something between my fingers and then we went to the planetarium and you were so nice asking me to quit smoking and at the same time it made me want to smoke more because we kept getting closer every day…” He closed his eyes filled with tears and didn’t say anything else because he’d probably fall apart crying.

“Shh,” Barry soothed him and caressed his hair “Thanks for telling me, but you really didn’t have to tell me. I can’t believe I was feeding that need you had to smoke when I always thought our thing would be platonic… I was afraid of scaring you or something and ruining our friendship,” he said shaking his head as he remembered how he imagined things being over “but now I’m so glad I took the risk…” he continued with eyes now filled with tears as well, maybe for seeing Cisco like that, or maybe because he was pretty overwhelmed about all of those feelings burning inside his chest “when I first kissed you I was so terrified you pulled apart and hated me-” Cisco interrupted him.

“Listen, I would  _never_  hate you,” he told him, trying to underline enough his words so Barry believed him.

Barry smiled and looked down feeling fortunate to be living what less than a month ago would look like a mere fantasy.

“I would never hate you either,” he whispered back. “Actually I…” He said in a louder voice “I hope it’s not too soon, but I love you, Cisco. I already loved you when we were just friends, and now the feeling is even stronger,” he said feeling like a weight was being taken off his shoulders as he was finally saying those words out loud.

“I love you, too,” Cisco answered and came close to Barry’s face. “I love you so much,” he repeated before he kissed Barry on his lips.

 

And that’s the story of how Cisco Ramon never ever smoked again, and the story of how two friends discovered the beauty and pureness of love. Soon, they would decide to tell their friends and family about their relationship when they were ready and they could stop hiding their strong love to the persons they cared the most.

That was their ideal dream, and it was going to become a reality.


End file.
